Depression, fatigue, apathy, insomnia and mood swings - it comes in a wave after parting. Everything falls out of hand and it is not at all clear where to run and what to grab onto. imodern.decorexpro.com/en/ talked with a practicing psychologist Inna Bogatyreva and collected 12 tips on how to survive parting with your loved one!
1. Cry
Do not try to hold on to the last with an imperturbable look. If you need to suffer or cry, do not deny yourself anything. Come home, grab a glass of your favorite wine or chocolate cake, play your favorite sad songs, or call your friend and cry to your heart's content. The main thing is to limit the time. Give yourself one evening or a day off for the drama, but do not revel in it for a day.
2. Don't try to forget
The first step is to erase from life everything that is connected with a person. Removing photos, throwing away gifts and even a radical haircut - everything is used. But in fact, such forced attempts to throw the past out of life only interfere with surviving the situation. You cannot treat the disease with painkillers. Don't get excited!
3. Get rid of the "anchors"
At first it may seem that this method contradicts the previous one, but this is not entirely true. You don't have to delete all your photo archives and pretend that the person never existed. But take away all that is causing painful emotions right now. Bed linen, a framed photo on the table, a home shirt that still smells like someone else's perfume.
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4. Digital detox
For the first time, take a break from social networks, especially if you usually spend a lot of time in them. Firstly, only living impressions will help you to get distracted, and not their surrogate. Second, there are too many potential triggers, from the upsetting happy stories of other people now to the renewal of a former loved one.
5. Active leisure
There is a fine line here: you don’t need to load yourself 24/7, because you’re already under stress, and this is fraught with only new breakdowns. But try to plan the time so that besides the routine you will definitely have new emotions. Go to the cinema or the theater, visit friends in another city on a weekend, take a walk in the woods. Or maybe you have long dreamed of trying ice skating, horseback riding or shooting at a shooting range? It's time to try it!
6. Go in for sports
Any sport stimulates the production of endorphins, which you are sorely lacking now. If before going to the gym was your regular practice, do not give it up, even if the temptation is great. And if not, it's a great excuse to finally do at least a short morning gymnastics. Together with your mood and well-being, you will improve your shape!
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7. Ask for help
If you need help and support, do not hesitate to ask for them. Throw a friendly party, go to a karaoke or bar, order a pizza, or go outdoors. If you feel really bad, do not be afraid to contact a psychologist - perhaps it will be enough to just talk about the boil once.
8. Look your best
A common mistake is to give up on your appearance, because "there is no one for anyone anyway." This is fundamentally wrong! It has been proven for a long time that a spectacular appearance always gives self-confidence. Stylish haircut, new shoes or jacket, bright perfume - choose what will give you the feeling of your own irresistibility right now.
9. Make yourself happy
If you have long dreamed of throwing out an old cabinet, painting a stool or trying to bake a complicated cake, it's time to get down to business. If you are not in the mood at all, ask your loved ones if someone needs your help. You will be distracted, you will do good, and at the same time you will cheer up.
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10. Get busy planning
Think, do you have any plans and goals that you would really like to achieve, but this was problematic in a relationship? Perhaps this is a journey somewhere where the partner categorically did not want. Renting a new apartment closer to your favorite park. Finding a new job that was not supported by a former loved one. Or even moving to another city?
11. Analyze
This step is not necessary for everyone, but it is very important. Talk to loved ones who know your couple and your problems about whether your relationship has been threatened, manipulated, or abused. It is perfectly normal for a person to have a hard time getting out of toxic relationships that form painful emotional attachments. If you have even the slightest doubt, contact a psychologist right away. It will become much easier!
12. Speak up
If, in order to finally close the question for yourself, you need to speak out - do it when the first emotions subside a little. Write down in columns what was good and what was bad in the relationship. State clearly and without insults what exactly offended you and how you feel about it. If you want, you can even write your ex-partner a detailed letter point by point and in examples. You don’t lose anything from this, but this is really a working method!
